Twenty Things To Ponder (or not)

1. Can you cry under water?

2. When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now do I just "chunky dunk?"

3. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated
    instead of just murdered?

4. If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

5. Why do you have to "put your two cents in," but it's only "a penny for your thoughts"?  
    Where's that extra penny going to?

6. Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in
    for eternity?

7. Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

8. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea
   to put wheels on luggage?

9. Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby,"
    when babies wake up like every two hours?

10. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
 
11. Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?

12. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars
      to look at things on the ground?

13. How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

14. If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

15. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any
     loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

16. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press
     "Ctrl Alt Delete" and start all over?

17. Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize
     you haven't fallen asleep yet.

18. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

19. Did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together it spells  
    "THEIRS"?

20. Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.