Thursday, July 31, 2008
Top Ten WTF? US Sex Laws - Top 10s - Sent Using Google Toolbar
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CO-ED Magazine » The Disadvantages of Being a Bachelor - Sent Using Google Toolbar
CO-ED Magazine » The Disadvantages of Being a Bachelor
The Disadvantages of Being a Bachelor
July 29, 2008 - 5:44 pm, By Nigel J. - Duke University
Sure I could easily make you three dozen top 10's lists about the advantages of being single but today I'll mix it up. I give you the disadvantages of being a bachelor. We all love playing the field, even if you as ugly as I am, but it gets to a point where watching TV alone on a Thursday night gets to even the strongest-willed cocksman.
1. No beautiful woman to talk to day in and day out
Sure it's great to talk with your boys 24/7 about sports and stuff, but after awhile it can become a little old. Its always nice to have a female perspective on different situations. Moreover, looking at a pretty girl ramble about puppy dogs, bunny rabbits and rainbows is much more appealing than discussing (again) why Pete Rose belongs in the Hall. All of this is given the fact that you can close the deal with a hot chick, but I contend that even a steady decent chick will do. Ugly girls…I am truly sorry. They are reserved for closing-time last resorts.
2. No one to keep your spending in check
Even though having a girlfriend can burn a hole in your pocket, she can also talk some sense into you before you make a stupid impulse buy. Many a $100+ BestBuy spending spree has been approved by my dumba** buddies because they all wanted in on Rock Band. A nice young lady would be the voice of reason, even if for self-fish reasons, and tell you that the purchase of an HD-DVD player is probably not smart given the BluRay support in the film industry; or because she wants you to take her out for a fancy dinner at Panera, either way put the consumer electronics DOWN!
3. Nobody to keep you from living like a pig
If she is a keeper or desperate, she will be there to clean up your sh*t. If she is decent or above, you will be motivated to clean up after yourself because no self-respecting hottie (there are a few left) will go knees down on a dirty floor. Not to mention the fact, that the smell of week old food in the trash - though not physically offensive to the average male nose - is a deal breaker for most of ladies.
4. Eating Alone
Without a girl in your life, a meal of hot pockets and mac & cheese is an activity for one. Even if that is your meal of choice, which the USDA probably would not support, it feels so much more healthy when undertaken with a young lady. The side benefit of this relationship is that you will slowly find hot pockets and Ramen replaced with healthier options. Not a salad every time, but maybe a veggie-dog here and some grilled chicken there. You will be a better man for it, and as gay as tofu sounds, it is not half as bad when you are eating with a special someone.
5. No one to watch TV with
This is a strange one. There is no doubt that while watching TV is a passive activity, it is much more enjoyable with another. Here is the rub - when with a lady, the choice in shows are of a slightly different genre. There will be more Dancing with the Stars and a lot more American Idol. The difference is, that if she is hot enough, you really don't care.
6. During the school year, no one to take you to the doctor
Being sick and not having someone to go to the doctor with blows. when I'm home its usually my mom that takes me but at school the girlfriend fills that role well. The doting is a pretty nice perk, that is fo' sho. Mom made me soup, but a good GF will provide a level of care that - unless you are from Arkansas - Mom couldn't/shouldn't provide.
7. Bad hygiene
We all have those weeks when shaving and showering is just a f-ing chore! She will keep you in top shape. Mostly because it is to her benefit to not have a fugly boyfriend who smells like a NY bum - but dammit, if you can't smell yourself, you need someone else who can.
8. No one to snuggle up to every night
You can go to a bar and try to bring home girls but you have a 50/50 shot of leaving empty handed or bagging a girl who herpes or worse.
CO-ED Magazine » 13 Facts About Women…Men Forget - Sent Using Google Toolbar
CO-ED Magazine » 13 Facts About Women…Men Forget
13 Facts About Women…Men Forget
July 8, 2008 - 12:30 pm, By COED Staff
Women confuse men. That's a given. But it's not because we don't learn from our past relationships; we just forget everything we learned in the time between one and the next. And we only remember how different the two genders are when a woman's inherent eccentricities rear their wild head, once again.
To keep things in check, we've compiled a cheat sheet to help you keep your girl's differences in perspective with COED's 13 Facts About Women Men Forget. So no matter how cool the chick, chances are she (is)…
Full of Sh*t: Before you call NOW, let us just say that this is only a periodic trait, and exists in varying degrees. Most of the time, it comes out in what we like to call a "game," but outside of a relationship it's called lying. Basically, she tells you one thing, but means something more than her words. (Words only seem to matter when she remembers to use yours against you.) Other times, it happens when she thinks lying serves a purpose greater than the truth of the moment. So, she might have gone to lunch with her ex and said she didn't–but he was a dick like usual, so it wasn't a big enough deal to tell you about (i.e., she cares about you enough to not want to hurt your feelings, but not enough to stop looking elsewhere). Now, try going out with your ex…
More Complicated Than You: When a man says all he needs is some time for TV, some time for drinking beer (aside from time spent watching TV) and some sex, he isn't kidding. Most guys are often easily pleased, regularly content (if not happy) and down for pretty much anything. That's what we mean by "easy-going." When you're not dating a woman (or have just started dating her, and she likes you), she can have no trouble matching that description. However, once she's comfortably in a relationship, she unveils a net of internal and inter-personal intricacies capable of confusing the crap out of any man. It's a lot of ins, outs, what-have-yous, and it's F'ing difficult to remember.
Requires Compliments: Ok ladies, we get it–you have terrible self-esteem. And that sucks. We're sure it's our fault, somehow. (How?) But unless you want to start telling us what a gigantic d*ck we have every time we see you, give us a break if we don't notice what you're wearing from time to time. Maybe what you're wearing sucks. Did you think of that?…Uh, sorry honey. What we meant to say was, that weird bag dress you threw on looks awesome.
Believes She Knows More About You Than You Do: Again, this only happens after her relationship is in a comfortable spot. At that point, if there's something she doesn't like about you, she will probably try to change it. Note: If you're cheating on her, it's ok for her to want that to stop. But if you're just wearing the wrong shirt, or have the wrong haircut, that's not her sh*t to change. You know how you want your hair, damnit. Tell her so–she'll appreciate you standing up for yourself.
P.S. Women: Don't believe anything Cosmo or any other "female-targeted publication" tells you about what guys like. Just keep it as close to BJs and BBQ as possible and you're in the green.
Evil Toward Other Girls: Unless you beat women (in which case, you should be getting your ass kicked right now, or in jail–preferably both) it's difficult to comprehend the razor-sharp viciousness women lash each other with during a feud. Angry women are cold, calculating–and if they decide to fight back, they inflict the most damage possible. And this is the part guys forget: Mess up, and they'll do the same to you! So if you catch your girl hitting below the belt with emails and rumors against someone you thought was her friend, watch your back, that's all we're saying.
Self Conscious About Something: This is essentially the cause of "Requires Compliments," from above. But what women don't realize is that, when a guy is with a girl, he thinks she's hot. That's a given in a guy's mind, and doesn't change much. So we completely forget that women, in general, are nervous wrecks of internal anguish. Usually, their fluctuating insecurity is about their bodies, which they say is a product of our cruel desire for them. (As if women are so kind to each other on this front…) Really, it's about all types of stuff. So guys, if you take this fact of female existence to heart, it helps explain many of their womanly mysteries. (Not the g-spot one, though…)
Crazy: We know this is cliche, but let's get something straight: When chemical imbalances (i.e., changes in hormone levels) control your thoughts, words and actions–that's called crazy. A "visit from aunt flow," as they say, is enough to throw many women over the edge–at least for a couple of days. And while we will forever hold hope that there's a reliably sane one amongst them, we are yet to even hear of her existence. In fact, most women admit their (temporary) insanity; you'd know if you listen to them. Don't, and that's some sh*t they'll use against you, if you make the mistake of not knowing what the hell is going on.
Not Funny: Believe us, we've met (and dated) plenty of funny women. They're not always fat and not always lesbian. Some of them are hot, and those chicks are the best. But for the most part, women just like to laugh at our jokes (they all say they want a funny man), and suck at coming up with their own. And when it comes to stand-up comedians, women have Lisa Lampanelli and Sarah Silverman and…uh…yeah, that's it. Unless you count Courtney Love, but we doubt you want to claim her.
A Star-F**ker: Given the opportunity, most women would seriously consider screwing a (cool) famous person, just for the f**k of it. Even your girlfriend. It's just in their nature. (Non-virgin) guys don't get obsessed with famous people the way women do. (Just go to a Justin Timberlake concert, or at least stand outside and watch to see.) We're not saying she'll cheat on you, but she would definitely weigh her options, given the chance. Especially if the dude plays a guitar or drums. Those dudes get laid, always. Double the chances again if he has an accent. Basically, if she's going to an after party, agree to meet her there–or consider yourself a dumbass. (She will.)
A Better Liar: When a man lies, he knows he's doing something wrong. He'll dart his eyes, mumble, change the subject and try to just get the hell out of the situation as fast as possible. When a woman lies, she can look the person she loves square in the eye and feed him the biggest load of bullsh*t ever, and make it seem like she's being perfectly reasonable–more reasonable than usual! (That's your first clue.) But pity the man who catches his woman in a lie; call her out on it, and she will drop her entire arsenal of your f**k-ups upon your quickly withering form. Forget that tactic; it's better to just go get drunk and hit on other chicks out of spite.
Enjoys Cat Calls: First of all, most dudes don't call out to girls on the street; we check out your ass and overflowing push-up bra from a respectable distance. But women don't just (secretly, deep down) enjoy getting cat calls thrown their way, they expect it. Sure, some dude might go over the line now and then, and that never feels nice. But if nobody stares and nobody says a single lewd comment, she feels less sexy, like there's something wrong with her that day, or at least with what she's wearing. Guys, don't take this as an invitation to hit on every stranger you see walking down the street. But ladies, stop telling us you don't like it.
Constantly Looks For Inner-Meaning: For men, saying exactly what you mean stands as a matter of pride. But no matter how straight your talk, women like to feel like they have more control over the situation by attempting to decode what you're not saying, so they can guess how you're feeling and what to do next. Here's the thing, ladies: Men only talk to accomplish a goal of some type, like working out a business plan. You talk just to talk. It makes you feel better just to get everything out there. If talking isn't for any reason other than to talk, he'd rather do anything else.
Uses Sex To Manipulate Men: If she's looking extra hot and/or acting particularly friendly, beware: she is probably going to ask you to do something you don't want to do. (This is a perfectly acceptable trade-off in a woman's mind.) She knows you like sex, and she's got the tools to use that desire against you–or at least to get what she wants. But sex is what we want, so don't get us wrong on this one: We want you to use sex to manipulate us. It's the best form of manipulation possible. But don't think we don't know what you're up to.
Colonnade
Sent to you by Gigi via Google Reader:
via Chow Down Atlanta by Chloe on 7/30/08
It isn't hard to believe that this Atlanta institution has been around since 1927. I say that because of the much older clientele — regulars who add to the hour-long waits during lunch time; including a good mix of hungry folks from all walks of life. And there's good reason why the wait is usually long.
The main star at Colonnade is the fried chicken. It is simply the best fried chicken. Just like your momma used to make. Its buttermilk crust is light and crispy, and the chicken meat is tender and juicy. It is perfectly seasoned and comes with two sides.
While the fried chicken takes center stage at this joint, other southern favorites come close behind. The pork chops are fantastic, as well as the fried catfish. Sides are house made and include the usual fried okra, creamed corn, black-eyed peas, collard greens, macaroni and cheese. They're all good. But the best part of the meal at Colonnade is the bread. Hot off the oven, yeasty Parker rolls, wheat rolls, and corn bread. I am so in love with the yeast rolls that I'm known to horde them, hide them in a napkin, and take them home. I just can't get enough of them.
Colonnade serves delicious southern food at very affordable prices. The place is very unassuming with a cafeteria feel. Service is very warm and friendly.
Insider tip:
Blue plate specials daily.
The scoop:
Colonnade Restaurant
1879 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE
Atlanta, GA 30324
(404) 874-5642
Technorati Tags: Colonnade Restaurant, Buckhead, Cheshire Bridge, American Southern cuisine, fried chicken, yeast rolls
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Wednesday, July 30, 2008
How to Write Your Memoir by Abigail Thomas - Sent Using Google Toolbar
How to Write Your Memoir by Abigail Thomas
How to Write Your Own Memoir
By Abigail Thomas
What is memoir? How do you write one? What if you can't remember anything, or worse, what if you remember it all? What do you put in? Who do you want your readers to be? I can't write personal stuff, you say, my family will be upset. You have to put those worries aside. You need to feel free to write about the uncomfortable truths, and unless your motive for writing is revenge, you may find that these moments of discomfort are mostly your own.
Writing memoir is a way to figure out who you used to be and how you got to be who you are. Still, as Raymond Carver once said, "What good is insight? It only makes things worse." Why dredge up a lot of dusty memories? Why remind yourself that the old days will never come back? Why remind yourself of your own mortality? (The word memory comes from the same root as the word mourn, and that should tell you something.) You will find there are many reasons to go look in the icebox or turn on the television, or reread Middlemarch. But pay attention to the little voice that whispers, "This part was interesting." Pay attention to everything.
Recently I bought a garden statue of the Virgin Mary. I am not a religious person, but her face is beautiful, her blue robe faded, her manner full of grace. I put it in the living room, not wanting her rained on. A friend, Helen Klein Ross, looked at her and smiled. "I used to stare at her when I was little," she said, "hoping to see movement." She paused, brightened. "Because then I would be a saint!" If Helen hadn't already written brilliantly about her upbringing in a large Catholic family in the Midwest, I'd have said, "Helen! Start right there! Write!"
But the jumping-off place isn't always so obvious. You can't always find the way in. Sometimes you need a side door. That's where the exercises come in. Here's the one I give all my writing students the first week of the class.
Take any ten years of your life, reduce them to two pages, and every sentence has to be three words long—not two, not four, but three words long. You discover there's nowhere to hide in three-word sentences. You discover that you can't include everything, but half of writing is deciding what to leave out. Learning what to leave out is not the same thing as putting in only what's important. Sometimes it's what you're not saying that gives a piece its shape. And it's surprising what people include. Marriage, divorce, love, sex—yes, there's all of that, but often what takes up precious space is sleeping on grass, or an ancient memory of blue Popsicle juice running down your sticky chin. When you're done, run your mind over everything the way a safecracker sandpapers his fingers to feel the clicks. If there is one sentence that hums, or gives off sparks, you've hit the jackpot. Then write another two pages starting right there.
Another exercise: Write two pages about a time when you were dressed inappropriately for the occasion. What occasion? Who thought you were inappropriate? That's up to you.
A woman wrote about her first husband's death, which had happened maybe 20 years ago. He was helping somebody load a truck, a favor for somebody he barely knew—that's the kind of generous man he was. The truck moved unexpectedly, and he was thrown to the ground and sustained a head injury so severe that when they got him to the emergency room he was declared brain-dead. Hours later she was standing on the roof of the hospital with her husband's brother, deciding whether or not to take him off life support. She was wearing flip-flops, shorts, and a T-shirt, and she remembers thinking how these were the wrong clothes to be wearing at such a moment. She had never written about his death before. Focusing on what she was wearing gave her the distance.
A side door.
Writing memoir is a way to figure out who you used to be and how you got to be who you are. Still, as Raymond Carver once said, "What good is insight? It only makes things worse." Why dredge up a lot of dusty memories? Why remind yourself that the old days will never come back? Why remind yourself of your own mortality? (The word memory comes from the same root as the word mourn, and that should tell you something.) You will find there are many reasons to go look in the icebox or turn on the television, or reread Middlemarch. But pay attention to the little voice that whispers, "This part was interesting." Pay attention to everything.
Recently I bought a garden statue of the Virgin Mary. I am not a religious person, but her face is beautiful, her blue robe faded, her manner full of grace. I put it in the living room, not wanting her rained on. A friend, Helen Klein Ross, looked at her and smiled. "I used to stare at her when I was little," she said, "hoping to see movement." She paused, brightened. "Because then I would be a saint!" If Helen hadn't already written brilliantly about her upbringing in a large Catholic family in the Midwest, I'd have said, "Helen! Start right there! Write!"
But the jumping-off place isn't always so obvious. You can't always find the way in. Sometimes you need a side door. That's where the exercises come in. Here's the one I give all my writing students the first week of the class.
Take any ten years of your life, reduce them to two pages, and every sentence has to be three words long—not two, not four, but three words long. You discover there's nowhere to hide in three-word sentences. You discover that you can't include everything, but half of writing is deciding what to leave out. Learning what to leave out is not the same thing as putting in only what's important. Sometimes it's what you're not saying that gives a piece its shape. And it's surprising what people include. Marriage, divorce, love, sex—yes, there's all of that, but often what takes up precious space is sleeping on grass, or an ancient memory of blue Popsicle juice running down your sticky chin. When you're done, run your mind over everything the way a safecracker sandpapers his fingers to feel the clicks. If there is one sentence that hums, or gives off sparks, you've hit the jackpot. Then write another two pages starting right there.
Another exercise: Write two pages about a time when you were dressed inappropriately for the occasion. What occasion? Who thought you were inappropriate? That's up to you.
A woman wrote about her first husband's death, which had happened maybe 20 years ago. He was helping somebody load a truck, a favor for somebody he barely knew—that's the kind of generous man he was. The truck moved unexpectedly, and he was thrown to the ground and sustained a head injury so severe that when they got him to the emergency room he was declared brain-dead. Hours later she was standing on the roof of the hospital with her husband's brother, deciding whether or not to take him off life support. She was wearing flip-flops, shorts, and a T-shirt, and she remembers thinking how these were the wrong clothes to be wearing at such a moment. She had never written about his death before. Focusing on what she was wearing gave her the distance.
A side door.
Friday, July 25, 2008
What Men Aren't Telling Women by Chris Abani - Sent Using Google Toolbar
What Men Aren't Telling Women by Chris Abani
That women are mysterious and unknowable is something every young man grows up believing. Men, on the other hand, never think of themselves as mysterious or confusing, and we are often at a loss as to why women want to figure us out. But since you asked:
When you say we don't really talk to you or reveal ourselves to you, we wish you knew just how much we have had to suppress about our desires, pains, fears, and vulnerability over the years to conform to the script of masculinity that we are given. Sometimes we don't open up because we are afraid of what we will find. We are also afraid that if you see who we really are, in all our flawed humanity (and not the flaws that annoy you, like being untidy or driving fast), you won't like us.
Men do communicate, often very directly, but women sometimes cannot accept how simple what we have to say is. We seldom play games—we aren't that sophisticated. If we don't call you for a couple of days after a date, it is because either we are afraid you will think we are stalkers (and we will call on day three) or we aren't into you. That's all there is.
We are as nervous as you are about sex; I don't care what you've heard. Your anatomy is a mystery that nobody bothers explaining to us. Even when we think we have mastered one woman's body, every body is different. We feel inadequate if we can't satisfy you in bed, and since no one has told us what to do with feelings of inadequacy, we project them onto you. Sad but true.
We are very insecure about how we look and what you really think about us, and we are excited when you do small, nice things for us like make coffee or come with us to the barber or just buy us a good book. We've been trained never to show this side to you, but it is there.
We are not subtle creatures. You might think that when you play with your hair in our presence, we know that means you like us. We don't know for sure. Men who do are bad men (sorry, guys!). And anything you've been told about playing hard to get is wrong.
We crave cuddling and hand-holding, maybe even more than you do.
We are desperate to please you because we know you are far sexier and more beautiful than you will ever admit to yourself, and we're confused (but extremely happy) as to why you like us.
Here's the thing: You rescue us every day in small, quiet ways, so why not in this way? Let us into your mystery, tell us how you would like to be loved, show us how to see you, really see you.
What Men Aren't Telling Us
By Chris Abani
Photo: Stockbyte/Getty Images
When you say we don't really talk to you or reveal ourselves to you, we wish you knew just how much we have had to suppress about our desires, pains, fears, and vulnerability over the years to conform to the script of masculinity that we are given. Sometimes we don't open up because we are afraid of what we will find. We are also afraid that if you see who we really are, in all our flawed humanity (and not the flaws that annoy you, like being untidy or driving fast), you won't like us.
Men do communicate, often very directly, but women sometimes cannot accept how simple what we have to say is. We seldom play games—we aren't that sophisticated. If we don't call you for a couple of days after a date, it is because either we are afraid you will think we are stalkers (and we will call on day three) or we aren't into you. That's all there is.
We are as nervous as you are about sex; I don't care what you've heard. Your anatomy is a mystery that nobody bothers explaining to us. Even when we think we have mastered one woman's body, every body is different. We feel inadequate if we can't satisfy you in bed, and since no one has told us what to do with feelings of inadequacy, we project them onto you. Sad but true.
We are very insecure about how we look and what you really think about us, and we are excited when you do small, nice things for us like make coffee or come with us to the barber or just buy us a good book. We've been trained never to show this side to you, but it is there.
We are not subtle creatures. You might think that when you play with your hair in our presence, we know that means you like us. We don't know for sure. Men who do are bad men (sorry, guys!). And anything you've been told about playing hard to get is wrong.
We crave cuddling and hand-holding, maybe even more than you do.
We are desperate to please you because we know you are far sexier and more beautiful than you will ever admit to yourself, and we're confused (but extremely happy) as to why you like us.
Here's the thing: You rescue us every day in small, quiet ways, so why not in this way? Let us into your mystery, tell us how you would like to be loved, show us how to see you, really see you.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
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