3/11/09

So Sunday night I went out for a walk. A long one. It's the only thing that clears my mind.

Then I remembered that I have to verify my un-employment by midnight, and it was already past 11pm. When I walked into the door my boyfriend wanted to talk. I wanted to do anything but talk. i know he's trying in the best way he knows how, but it's just not comforting. Especially coming from someone whom has lost their mother.

The next day I went for a walk in Stone Mountain park. I walked until I got tired, then I sat and started to think. I made up my mind to pack my bags and go to LA, with no money for a ticket mind you. I knew that I'd have my un-employment funds on Wednesday though, but her condition was worsening.

When I got back to the car sweaty and tired, I called back my god-mother and my sister. My god-mother bought my plane ticket. But I didnt hear from my sister again. I just knew I had to come out.

After droping my bags at my sister's house I rushed to the hospital. The nurse is very friendly, explaining what the tubes are for and her condition. I bent over to my mother's ear and chanted. The nurse basically asked us when do we want to pull the plug. I couldn't take take. I stormed out the hospital and got into the car with my friend.

That's not a decision I could make, I'll always wonder, "what if." Wednesday morning the hospital called to tell us that she was in bad shape. I droped my friend off at school and watched her son for most of the day. he stayed out of school because he was sick. When I dropped her off at home, my sister called to ask if I was coming to the hospital. I wasnt going to cause I feel like her condition would remain the same, but felt like I needed to be there for a reason.

Once I got to the ICU waiting room, my sister told me that my mother had passed. I let out a sigh of relief. She's at peace now.

No more tubes, dialysis, diapers. She was very uncomfortable in her condition. I'm happy that her suffering is over. I miss her, and sometimes I cant be in her house a long time, but so far everything else is good.

Ten Things That Won’t Matter In Ten Years’ Time – And Ten Things That Will

 

 

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Ten Things That Won’t Matter In Ten Years’ Time – And Ten Things That Will

via PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement by Ali Hale on 3/5/09

Image courtesy of Pawel Maciejewski

You're stressed, overworked, and tired. You feel like you're dropping the ball on so many things. You find yourself lying awake in the early hours, thinking about those items still on your to-do list, those emails not yet cleared.

One day, some little incident makes you blow up. For me, it was my printer malfunctioning and my stapler breaking in the middle of a very busy week, when I was trying to sort out some last-minute handouts for my post-grad classmates.

Have you ever heard the phrase "don't sweat the small stuff"? There are so many things that we waste huge amounts of energy on (and worry is always wasted energy), which just won't matter in a week, let alone ten years.

Here are ten examples of things you might be stressing about today that will not matter a jot in ten years' time:

1. That embarrassing misspelling in the email you just sent
2. The jerk who cut you up on your way into work
3. How clean your kitchen is when your mother-in-law comes to visit
4. One of your kids acting up
5. A nasty email from a stranger
6. Missing a deadline
7. Losing out on a job interview to a better candidate
8. Slipping up on grocery shopping and offering your family a choice of cereal or sandwiches for dinner, one night
9. Making a small mistake in a report – and being called up on it by a client
10. Your library books being overdue

So what are you going to pour your energy into instead? There are a number of things you might want to concentrate on, including your family, your health and your dreams for the future. So these are ten things which will matter in ten years' time. Some of them need to be done on a consistent, daily basis for you to really see effects:

1. Writing down your goals
2. Working at the times of day when you're most productive and energetic
3. Telling your kids and partner that you love them
4. Eating plenty of fruit and veggies
5. Going for a half-hour walk – sunshine, fresh air and exercise!
6. Getting up early to work on something that really matters to you
7. Painting a watercolour, writing a poem, or knitting a jumper
8. Doing something unexpected (but that you know will be welcomed) for your partner
9. Spending time learning and practising a new skill
10. Taking time for yourself, to think, pray or meditate

The things on this second list are the ones that will really matter, long term. Instead of worrying over some little mistake at work or in your home life, think about your actions that build up to a bigger picture. Did you get any exercise today? Did you take the time to prepare healthy, tasty meals? Did you work on anything that you felt truly fired-up and inspired about?

Focus your attention on the things that will matter in ten years – not the tiny ups and downs of your day that you'll have forgotten about in a week or two.

After all, what would you rather look back on in 2019 – ten years of a stressing over a clear email inbox and a tidy house, or ten years when you made huge strides towards accomplishing your goals?

If you've got any of your own "won't matter" and "will matter" tasks to add to the lists, let us know them in the comments.

In his movie debut, Ambition to Meaning, Wayne Dyer explores the spiritual journey in the second half of life when we long to shift from ambition to meaning and find the purpose that is our unique contribution to the world.

"I' m more proud of this film than of anything I've ever done before." – Wayne Dyer

Visit AmbitionToMeaning.com to watch the trailer and music videos or to order the DVD.

 

 

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